Do any of you guys actually remember anything that happened during the Aus v Arg game?
I was watching a replay of it yesterday and the only thing that I remembered was the goal that they scored and the cockheads from Sydeny that me and Chook were going to punch on with.
But apparently Bresciano hit the cross bar from a free kick which then rebounded into the keepers head back onto the crossbar and clear for what should have been a corner. And then there was Messi blasting past Carney and Grella to smack a shot into the inside of the post which bounced clear.
I didnt even realise the goal they scored was from a header. I thought it went clean through. from the direct freekick.
But on the plus side I can honestly say that I started the night with $300 and finished with $70.
And those Quick Fucks tasted like shit.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Australia To Use Brazilian Methods To Down Argentina
Australia are looking to use Brazil as a teacher when the Socceroos take on Argentina in Melbourne in a friendly on Tuesday night.
The Australian coaching staff have been studying the recent Copa America final when Brazil defeated Argentina 3-0.
New Sheffield United signing David Carney has returned Down Under for the prestige game and is ready to make the switch from football Sheffield style to Samba style.
"I think they're looking at when Brazil played Argentina and beat them," Carney told reporters.
The Australian coaching staff have been studying the recent Copa America final when Brazil defeated Argentina 3-0.
New Sheffield United signing David Carney has returned Down Under for the prestige game and is ready to make the switch from football Sheffield style to Samba style.
"I think they're looking at when Brazil played Argentina and beat them," Carney told reporters.
Saturday, September 8, 2007
GSE vs Polonia
So there has been a disappointingly low attendance at GSE games over the last month.
I think todays game will be the same.
Sack Desmond now
I think todays game will be the same.
Sack Desmond now
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Desmond maybe you should apply this guide when you are next prowling the gay bars in Canberra
Much appreciation to the blogger who inadvertently changed my life Darp for this guide.
The Homophobe's Q&A Survival Guide to Gay Bars and Clubs.
Every once in a while, the straight Australian male must come face to face with real life homosexuals. This usually happens in places where the decision to interact with them is out of our hands, like the workplace, on a Qantas flight, a home deco store or Sydney.
But what if you were put in a situation where you were dragged into a place that was full of them in order to prove the point that you don't hate fags, you're just afraid of them and scared shitless of coming into contact with them.?
What if your girlfriend forcibly dragged you to a Gay bar or club for instance? Would you know how to survive? Read on.
What can I expect, will it be like the Blue Oyster Bar from the Police Academy movies?
Yes, yes it will, but worse. Upon entering the venue, it is probably wise to tell the bouncer that you are straight and that you won't tolerate any funny business. You'll king hit the first queer who licks his moustachioed lips at you.If you are with a lady friend, make sure you cling to her for dear life and make sure all gestures of affection are as ostentatious as possible.Bring a brown paper bag with you. The site of seeing so many biker-moustache leather queens getting onto each other may make you physically sick. As will be explained later, going to the men's toilets for any reason, let alone to throw up, is unadvisable.There WILL be men in sailor outfits bum rooting each other on the dance floor. They will have clock weights hanging from their pierced scrotums as well - do not allow yourself to be too alarmed by this. Try and view everything from an anthropological perspective, and stop thinking about viewing it all through a sniper scope.
What should I do if any of them try and talk to me?
Just relax and talk to the chap as if he is normal. Skirt around topics like ballet and curtain design and gear the conversation around football and boxing. Under no circumstances should you shake hands with the chap or brush against him as YOU WILL get AIDS.
Should I get myself a drink?
NO. If you innocently order a schooner of VB you will be shocked and amazed to see that fag beer comes in cocktail glasses with fruit garnishes and pink umbrellas. It will not be the regulation amber colour either - fag publicans put special pink dye into their kegs so as to make their clientele drink more of it.See - gays believe the colour pink gives them bizarre Satanic sexual powers over straight people. They believe that the more pink they wear, the more voodoo luck they give themselves when it comes to seducing and raping straight men LIKE YOU.
What if someone offers to by me a drink?
Refuse and inform him you're undergoing a full rectal reconstruction tomorrow and must not put any fluids into your body. The fact that your anus has already collapsed will deem you an unfit target for pursuit.
Why not just let him buy you a drink?
Well, he will drug you into a paralytic coma and then fuck seven shades of shit out of you.Also keep in mind that drinking from glasses that have been drunk from by millions of fags will also put you at risk of contracting HIV.
What about the men's toilets, what if I really need to go?
See, in a gay bar, the men's toilets aren't actually toilets. They are a sex dungeon in disguise where all manner of depravity and filth takes place.The urinal is where men lie and paddle about in puddles of piss like a kiddie wading pool. The dunny cubicles themselves ALL have holes in the walls where anonymous head-jobs are given.If you go into this environment, you will be handcuffed to the cistern and violated.
Should I go to the women's toilets instead?
No, the exact same thing will happen to you except it will be tranny's and drag queens who will buggerise you into insensibility.
What do I do if someone grabs my arse or cock whilst walking around the club?
A good idea is to grab a copy of the Sydney Star Observer on the way through the front door. Roll it up and keep it handy. See, gay men must be treated like the disobedient dogs they are. If you feel your arse or other private bits being grabbed, turn and strike the offender on the nose with your rolled up newspaper and say "NO" in a loud commanding voice. Like a mischievous puppy, the fags will soon know right from wrong and not fondle your arse again.
What do I do if I find myself overcome with the irrestible desire to boogy on down to the sounds of Gloria Gaynor, Kylie and Marc Almond?
Don't be alarmed. This phenomena has been known to happen to the straightest of men. It is all a part of the dirty, underhand and subliminal gay strategy for recruiting straight folk over to their side. You may find yourself feeling at ease, happy and relaxed by the cheerful non-threatening atmosphere of a gay venue. The music adds to this and before you know it, you're pumping your fist in the air to Nikki French's Total Eclipse of the Heart or You've Blown it all Sky High by Newton.The next minute, you will be pumping your fist up another man's arse, ON THE DANCEFLOOR, in front of cheering onlookers.
If you're in Sydney, then the best thing to do is to do the bolt from the venue, making sure to elbow and knock down as many people as you can on the way. If the bouncers accost you, put up the mother of all struggles as they drag you out the door. Make sure to scream some incoherent homophobic abuse as this is happening, throw in something about Sodom and Gomorrah and Judgement day.Head north to Kings Cross and get a five-dollar head-job of some junkie pro in Daffodil Park. Some good, honest straight action is what you need to cleanse yourself of any residual fag filth.Just make sure she doesn't have a prominent Adam's apple before she goes down on you.
The Homophobe's Q&A Survival Guide to Gay Bars and Clubs.
Every once in a while, the straight Australian male must come face to face with real life homosexuals. This usually happens in places where the decision to interact with them is out of our hands, like the workplace, on a Qantas flight, a home deco store or Sydney.
But what if you were put in a situation where you were dragged into a place that was full of them in order to prove the point that you don't hate fags, you're just afraid of them and scared shitless of coming into contact with them.?
What if your girlfriend forcibly dragged you to a Gay bar or club for instance? Would you know how to survive? Read on.
What can I expect, will it be like the Blue Oyster Bar from the Police Academy movies?
Yes, yes it will, but worse. Upon entering the venue, it is probably wise to tell the bouncer that you are straight and that you won't tolerate any funny business. You'll king hit the first queer who licks his moustachioed lips at you.If you are with a lady friend, make sure you cling to her for dear life and make sure all gestures of affection are as ostentatious as possible.Bring a brown paper bag with you. The site of seeing so many biker-moustache leather queens getting onto each other may make you physically sick. As will be explained later, going to the men's toilets for any reason, let alone to throw up, is unadvisable.There WILL be men in sailor outfits bum rooting each other on the dance floor. They will have clock weights hanging from their pierced scrotums as well - do not allow yourself to be too alarmed by this. Try and view everything from an anthropological perspective, and stop thinking about viewing it all through a sniper scope.
What should I do if any of them try and talk to me?
Just relax and talk to the chap as if he is normal. Skirt around topics like ballet and curtain design and gear the conversation around football and boxing. Under no circumstances should you shake hands with the chap or brush against him as YOU WILL get AIDS.
Should I get myself a drink?
NO. If you innocently order a schooner of VB you will be shocked and amazed to see that fag beer comes in cocktail glasses with fruit garnishes and pink umbrellas. It will not be the regulation amber colour either - fag publicans put special pink dye into their kegs so as to make their clientele drink more of it.See - gays believe the colour pink gives them bizarre Satanic sexual powers over straight people. They believe that the more pink they wear, the more voodoo luck they give themselves when it comes to seducing and raping straight men LIKE YOU.
What if someone offers to by me a drink?
Refuse and inform him you're undergoing a full rectal reconstruction tomorrow and must not put any fluids into your body. The fact that your anus has already collapsed will deem you an unfit target for pursuit.
Why not just let him buy you a drink?
Well, he will drug you into a paralytic coma and then fuck seven shades of shit out of you.Also keep in mind that drinking from glasses that have been drunk from by millions of fags will also put you at risk of contracting HIV.
What about the men's toilets, what if I really need to go?
See, in a gay bar, the men's toilets aren't actually toilets. They are a sex dungeon in disguise where all manner of depravity and filth takes place.The urinal is where men lie and paddle about in puddles of piss like a kiddie wading pool. The dunny cubicles themselves ALL have holes in the walls where anonymous head-jobs are given.If you go into this environment, you will be handcuffed to the cistern and violated.
Should I go to the women's toilets instead?
No, the exact same thing will happen to you except it will be tranny's and drag queens who will buggerise you into insensibility.
What do I do if someone grabs my arse or cock whilst walking around the club?
A good idea is to grab a copy of the Sydney Star Observer on the way through the front door. Roll it up and keep it handy. See, gay men must be treated like the disobedient dogs they are. If you feel your arse or other private bits being grabbed, turn and strike the offender on the nose with your rolled up newspaper and say "NO" in a loud commanding voice. Like a mischievous puppy, the fags will soon know right from wrong and not fondle your arse again.
What do I do if I find myself overcome with the irrestible desire to boogy on down to the sounds of Gloria Gaynor, Kylie and Marc Almond?
Don't be alarmed. This phenomena has been known to happen to the straightest of men. It is all a part of the dirty, underhand and subliminal gay strategy for recruiting straight folk over to their side. You may find yourself feeling at ease, happy and relaxed by the cheerful non-threatening atmosphere of a gay venue. The music adds to this and before you know it, you're pumping your fist in the air to Nikki French's Total Eclipse of the Heart or You've Blown it all Sky High by Newton.The next minute, you will be pumping your fist up another man's arse, ON THE DANCEFLOOR, in front of cheering onlookers.
If you're in Sydney, then the best thing to do is to do the bolt from the venue, making sure to elbow and knock down as many people as you can on the way. If the bouncers accost you, put up the mother of all struggles as they drag you out the door. Make sure to scream some incoherent homophobic abuse as this is happening, throw in something about Sodom and Gomorrah and Judgement day.Head north to Kings Cross and get a five-dollar head-job of some junkie pro in Daffodil Park. Some good, honest straight action is what you need to cleanse yourself of any residual fag filth.Just make sure she doesn't have a prominent Adam's apple before she goes down on you.
This is a film discription from Wikipedia. I have actually seen this film and this review is pretty much accurate. It is hilarious. I couldnt find a picture of the doomtrooper but it is fuck off scary.
Set during WW2 SS Doomtrooper begins with six prisoners from either England or America, being given a secret mission, which entails them travelling to Germany in order to find out what the Nazis are working on, and then destroy it, in return for freedom. They parachute into German territory, and realise that they still have a long way to go before they reach the castle where the experiments are happening. Two of the Americans get separated from the rest of the group, and start making their way toward the meeting point for the rest of the group.
Meanwhile, Professor Ullman, the Nazi scientist, asks if he can unleash his monster on the good guys. The head guy says yes.
The two separated who will now be referred to as "Nervous Guy" and "Cool Sniper Guy" encounter the Doomtrooper. It is all blue, with glowing veins, about 10 feet tall, and has some kind of gun on its wrist. They battle it, firing their guns at it to no avail, just when things look their bleakest, the rest of the team comes. But Nervous Guy is still very nervous, so he tries to make a run for it, only to be shot and killed by the Doomtrooper. The team all throw grenades at the Doomtrooper and escape.
When the Nazis hear that the Doomtrooper has failed to kill the Allies, they send for it to be recaptured. When the Nazis arrive to capture it, it massacres them all, electrocuting one with its hands, and gunning down all the others. The rag-tag group of rebels, consisting of 'Captain Guy' the aforementioned "Cool Sniper Guy", "English Bomb Guy", "English Guy", and "American Smart-ass Guy", realize that the monster is still alive, and try to find a place to hide for the night. What they find is instead a French Resistance hideout. In there they meet 'French Chick' and 'French Guy' who tell them where the castle is. During the night, the Doomtrooper finds the French base, and kills everyone inside, except for the main characters.
Back at Castle Von Nazi, the head Nazi guy, yells at the Scientist, after learning that the Doomtrooper has killed his team. He tells the Scientist that he can't make any more monsters. The scientist then shoots him, and takes command of the base.
The good guys meanwhile, find a tank, kill the driver, who can also fire the gun without assistance, and hit the Doomtrooper with a shell. Yet again this does no damage. They then drive away from the creature, which cannot chase them because a building collapsed on it. At night they make a plan which involves them capturing a German weapons depot, and blowing the creature up inside the depot. They capture it by driving the tank in, which the Germans believe to be German, and machine gun everyone. Then they lead the Doomtrooper to the depot, lock it inside, and blow up the entire facility, "French Guy" dies during this, as he tries to hold the door shut, the Doomtrooper electrocutes him, he catches fire and disintegrates.
The good-guys then make their way to the castle, unbeknownst to the fact that the Doomtrooper survived. Along the way "Cool Sniper Guy'" gets shot in the eye, and "English Guy" gets shot as well. They make it to the castle, shoot more or less everyone, and then "English Bomb Guy" detonates a bomb he is sitting next to which kills all the Germans, in order to save the good guys. It is then revealed the "English Guy" did not die, and that the bullet was stopped by a medal of his. He is soon tracked down by the Nazis; they stand in a circle around him and empty around 20 magazines into him. When in the Nazi base, the good guys beat up the Nazis, and try to self destruct the base, while they are doing this, the Doomtrooper returns, killing everyone but the Scientist, who gets shot by "French Chick". "Smart Ass American Guy" gets his head exploded by electricity when he's trying to do something to blow up the castle.
Meanwhile 'Captain Guy' cuts the Doomtroopers hand off with his knife, and then sticks two electrical cords onto it's head. They escape as the whole castle explodes, and they also discover that "English Bomb Guy" survived. It shows them back in America, telling the American General not to try to recreate the same creature, but they suspect he will anyway. To get him back they steal a Jeep.
Set during WW2 SS Doomtrooper begins with six prisoners from either England or America, being given a secret mission, which entails them travelling to Germany in order to find out what the Nazis are working on, and then destroy it, in return for freedom. They parachute into German territory, and realise that they still have a long way to go before they reach the castle where the experiments are happening. Two of the Americans get separated from the rest of the group, and start making their way toward the meeting point for the rest of the group.
Meanwhile, Professor Ullman, the Nazi scientist, asks if he can unleash his monster on the good guys. The head guy says yes.
The two separated who will now be referred to as "Nervous Guy" and "Cool Sniper Guy" encounter the Doomtrooper. It is all blue, with glowing veins, about 10 feet tall, and has some kind of gun on its wrist. They battle it, firing their guns at it to no avail, just when things look their bleakest, the rest of the team comes. But Nervous Guy is still very nervous, so he tries to make a run for it, only to be shot and killed by the Doomtrooper. The team all throw grenades at the Doomtrooper and escape.
When the Nazis hear that the Doomtrooper has failed to kill the Allies, they send for it to be recaptured. When the Nazis arrive to capture it, it massacres them all, electrocuting one with its hands, and gunning down all the others. The rag-tag group of rebels, consisting of 'Captain Guy' the aforementioned "Cool Sniper Guy", "English Bomb Guy", "English Guy", and "American Smart-ass Guy", realize that the monster is still alive, and try to find a place to hide for the night. What they find is instead a French Resistance hideout. In there they meet 'French Chick' and 'French Guy' who tell them where the castle is. During the night, the Doomtrooper finds the French base, and kills everyone inside, except for the main characters.
Back at Castle Von Nazi, the head Nazi guy, yells at the Scientist, after learning that the Doomtrooper has killed his team. He tells the Scientist that he can't make any more monsters. The scientist then shoots him, and takes command of the base.
The good guys meanwhile, find a tank, kill the driver, who can also fire the gun without assistance, and hit the Doomtrooper with a shell. Yet again this does no damage. They then drive away from the creature, which cannot chase them because a building collapsed on it. At night they make a plan which involves them capturing a German weapons depot, and blowing the creature up inside the depot. They capture it by driving the tank in, which the Germans believe to be German, and machine gun everyone. Then they lead the Doomtrooper to the depot, lock it inside, and blow up the entire facility, "French Guy" dies during this, as he tries to hold the door shut, the Doomtrooper electrocutes him, he catches fire and disintegrates.
The good-guys then make their way to the castle, unbeknownst to the fact that the Doomtrooper survived. Along the way "Cool Sniper Guy'" gets shot in the eye, and "English Guy" gets shot as well. They make it to the castle, shoot more or less everyone, and then "English Bomb Guy" detonates a bomb he is sitting next to which kills all the Germans, in order to save the good guys. It is then revealed the "English Guy" did not die, and that the bullet was stopped by a medal of his. He is soon tracked down by the Nazis; they stand in a circle around him and empty around 20 magazines into him. When in the Nazi base, the good guys beat up the Nazis, and try to self destruct the base, while they are doing this, the Doomtrooper returns, killing everyone but the Scientist, who gets shot by "French Chick". "Smart Ass American Guy" gets his head exploded by electricity when he's trying to do something to blow up the castle.
Meanwhile 'Captain Guy' cuts the Doomtroopers hand off with his knife, and then sticks two electrical cords onto it's head. They escape as the whole castle explodes, and they also discover that "English Bomb Guy" survived. It shows them back in America, telling the American General not to try to recreate the same creature, but they suspect he will anyway. To get him back they steal a Jeep.
Fear and loathing in Tullamarine
Question 1: Is Scarlett Johansen the hottest chick in the world?
Question 1: Is Scarlett Johansen the hottest chick in the world?
I’ve just finished watching The Island and A Love Song for Bobby Long and I can only come to the conclusion that she is incredibly fit (possibly the fittest).
In a related matter my love life has improved heaps……..I’m masturbating at least once a day.
Australian Squad and lineup against Argentina (what it should be)
Goalkeepers
-Mark Schwarzer
-Danny Vukovic
-Adam Federici
Brad (had to fuck up everyone’s trip to Sydney) Jones and Clint Bolton have become more famous for their howlers then any actual keeping. I know that Chook will say what about Theo, but he gets dropped off of my list because I actually saw the game against NZ. Theo sucked balls. Tando Velaphi is another bright prospect but if he can’t get past Tommi Tomich at Perth then maybe I shouldn’t believe the hype (aah Hype…now that was a great election ticket).
Rightback/Wingback
-Brett Emerton
-Ahmed Elrich
The one match review I wrote for the Asian Cup blasted Emerton for being a dirty cavalo. Well the stinging criticism must have done some good because he improved out of sight after that game. He is one of the few players from Europe who now picks himself in the squad. He’s probably the best at set pieces which also says a lot. Elrich…I love him he doesn’t deserve it but he gets it anyway. Travis Dodd wouldn’t be bad in this position either.
Leftback/Wingback
-David Carney
-Jade North
With Chippers gone these two are the logical successors to his position. Carney excelled at the Asian Cup and I’ve got a feeling that Jade North is going to have a really good year for Newcastle (even if he is being played in the centre of defence). Shane Steffanuto could be played here but his name sounds too stupid half Aussie half Wog.
Centre-back
-Lucas Neill
-Michael Beauchamp
-Mark Milligan
-Adrian Leijer
-Matthew Spiranovic
Luacs Neill sucked balls in the Asian Cup, he looks like a ST on the front of men’s magazines and he’s best friends with Mel & Kochie. Normally this would be enough evidence to allow me to label him a cock smoker except for the fact that he is the captain of the Irons. How could I call a cock smoker someone who stands up there with Bobby Moore? Anyway he’s not that bad of a player when he’s not wanking.
Beauchamp proved that he can get the job done in the Asian Cup after he had put in some howlers (especially against Paraguay). He’s getting plenty of first team football with Nurnburg where he’s with Matthew Spiranovic who apparently is the future of the Australian central defence.
I love Milligan’s all action approach to playing at the back. If Paddy Kisnorbo put in as much effort as Mark then he’d be plying his trade in a better league than the Championship. Leijer gets the nod as one of my few Melbourne Victory selections. Perhaps the only time you realise how good he was for us is when we have Socceroos aspirant Lubs at the back bumbling around like a fucking giant.
Defensive Midfield
-Vince Grella
My mind has gone blank. I don’t want Vinnie Grella in my team as I think he is an antiquity a relic of a bygone era. A slow destructive midfielder who uses brutality and filth to slow up the play and assault the best midfielder in the opposition side (he’s like Emerson but shitter). The problem is I don’t know who to replace him with. Maybe Carl Valeri, but to tell you the truth I just haven’t seen enough of him. Possibly play Milligan here like Sydney FC do or push Jason Culina back here. If Simon Colosimo was in good form I’d pick him but he hasn’t been setting the A-League on fire.
Attacking Midfielders
-Harry Kewell
-Nicky Carle
-Tim Cahill
-Jason Culina
-Mile Sterjovski
-Nathan Burns
-Nicky Ward
Three out of those names pick themselves. Harry, Tim and Jason are top notch, there’s no real dispute that they should be there. Let’s hope Nicky Carle’s current European adventure goes better than the last one at Troyes or Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure when they let Napoleon loose at Waterloo (the water theme park).
Mile just moved to Turkey and looks like a relatively stable low risk option giving the team width. Nicky Ward was the A-League young player of the season in its first year but has since disappeared. Nathan Burns is the best support striker attacking midfielder playing in Australia. He’s goal against Queensland was a cracker and its only a matter of time before he gets his chance to shine.
I don’t like Brett Holman he’s too much like some dumb ass dog who runs around chasing a ball all day but when he gets it he shits himself and doesn’t know what to do with it. And I’ve dropped Bresc because he uses that statue celebration way too much. Fine, doing it when you scored against Uruguay was awesome you were a God but doing it when you knock Catania out of the Coppa Italia or whatever is just shit. No one cares anymore. Get a new celebration and a haircut.
Forwards
-Archie Thompson
-Scott McDonald
-Josh Kennedy
-Danny Allsop
Four different strikers who I reckon look good. Each one offers something to the team. Archie has pace and trickery, McDonald has an eye for goal and a body reminiscent of the galloping major Ferenc Puskas, Kennedy has height and Danny has got the power. Viduka gets the arse cause he’s fat and eats way too much meat pies. Aloisi just gets pissed off to easy and reminds too much of Zamora. Damien Mori would be in the squad but it’s not the mid 1990’s and I hate him.
Manager
Me. I haven’t heard back from Ben Buckley but I know that I’ve got this one in the bag.
Let me know what you think
Cheers Cunts
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Match Results and the proof supporting West Ham is a fashion statement
GSE results & Golden Boot:
Can't remember score of game 2 weeks ago, suffice to say it was a win. Dez 6, Chook 5, Ads 0.
Last week 11-9 vs Turk/Leb Utd. Dez 5, Ads 3, Random ring-in 3, Chook 0.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
West Ham aka Bandwagoner Utd.
Saturday September 1, Melbourne Victory vs Perth Glory, former SBC student, Damiano Lo Nigro is spotted sporting a new West Ham season 07/08 jersey (see above).
Since the release of Green Street Hooligans, an army of West Ham supporters have come out of the closet.
Losers.
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