Is that the sound of drumming? Must be the Victory coming.

Melbourne Victory will play its “away” Pre-Season Cup playoff match at Melbourne’s Olympic Park Stadium on Saturday night (7.30pm kickoff) at the request of Wellington Phoenix.

“Our previous two home games this season have been played in front of big crowds in Launceston and Geelong, and we’d expect another big crowd to attend our first competitive match in Melbourne this season. This is a great chance for all our supporters to acquaint themselves with our new recruits Leandro Love, Carlos Hernandez, Ljubo Milicevic, Joseph Keenan, Matthew Kemp and Kaz Patafta."

Is anyone else up for it?

I hate Yoda

This may be off the topic.

I hate Yoda

Let me get this straight, Yoda can detect the slightest change in a person’s character such as fear and anger. But he can’t detect a galaxy wide conspiracy spanning a whole legion of clone troopers, the better part of the republic senate and all of the cinema audience.

Yoda suck you do.

Freddie reveals delight at signing

Freddie Ljungberg admits that the ambition of Eggert Magnusson convinced him to join West Ham United after nine successful years at Arsenal.

The Swedish international captain completed his move from north to east London this afternoon and says that his new Chairman made a big impression during the negotiation stages.

"I am very happy and really looking forward to the challenge," he says. "West Ham United is a great club and the Chairman really wants to go for it.

"I spoke to him at length - he is very easy to talk to, and you can see that he has that fire in his eyes. He wants to take the Club to another level, and hopefully I can help him to do that.

"There are a lot of reasons for making this move and it is hard for me to talk about all of them, but the main thing is that I was convinced by the ambition at West Ham United.

"The Chairman wants me to help build success here in the future, and I am very excited by that challenge. The aim is to get the Club to the top of English football

"I haven't had a chance to train with my new team-mates yet, but I am looking forward to that. There are some fantastic players here and the squad is very strong.

"The Chairman has proved that he isn't scared to move in the transfer market, but West Ham also have a lot of good young players - the Youth Academy here is very famous - and I really can't wait to be a part of things here."

GSE to move on to Greener Pastures?

Club captain Desmond was sighted on Sunday evening in discussions with administrators of the Albert Park Indoor Sports Centre (APISC). Amid rumours of discontent with Action Association (AA) officials, it is believed GSE are considering a switch to the rival league.

The APISC offers a more professional competition structure with official FIFA ® © ™ Futsal rules. Played on a hardwood floor as opposed to the carpet compound of the AA, the most striking difference is the lack of nets. This means more stoppages as balls frequently will be deflected out of bounds. This will undoubtedly help, with GSE's weakness being their fitness. The playing field is also slightly bigger meaning that teams will require 5 players to field a full team. The goalkeeper is also a much more flexible position, with no restrictions on positioning allowing him freedom to roam up the field, Chilavert style. Games require more skill and are generally low scoring as the ability to deflect off nets is gone, and the addition of an extra defender rendering 'Rod-style' or 'Old-School Desmond-style' runs nigh impossible.

Within the team it is believed Ads and Freestyler have signed onto Desmond's ambitious plan, with Chook an unkown at this point in time. The position of Teuma and Jords, aka the "package deal", is also unknown.

Desmond was later spotted playing for the team Benny Hill Unathletic, as a short term loan - Damien Mori/Romario style. BHU won 4-3 with Desmond assisting the opening 2 goals. BHU had a nervy last 10 minutes as they clung to a one goal advantage. Desperate defending, inspired goalkeeping and the crossbar ensured a victory in an at times bitter encounter.

-AAP

Working on weekends

I'm at work and its saturday. Fuck.

Here's a little thing which appropriated off the boys at F365 about Tottscum fans.

Thinking of taking up this trendy new thing they call football-supporting, but not sure what team it would be best to pick?

Perhaps you're a politician anxious to appear in touch with your otherwise slightly-embarrassing grass-roots voters, or you're looking for a way to intimidate the rough crowd down your local squash club.

Whatever the reason, Football365 is here to help. Cast an eye over our handy checklist. If you answer "Vass me, innit guvnah," to five of the ten questions, read on for our cheat sheet, and off you go...

Checklist1. Do you sell 'knock-off' mobiles and nylon holdalls from a market stall, and like to wear gold sovereign rings along with so much hairgel you look like you spent last night on the receiving end of an endless succession of money-shots?
2. Are you looking for a club that, despite its lack of any measurable success, has the misplaced air of superiority usually only seen on shop assistants who work in designer clothing stores?
3. Could you find yourself drawn to a team whose famous fighting spirit leads to their being nicknamed The Lilywhites, after the colour of the flag they run up as soon as the other side score?
4. Would you enjoy smugly insisting that playing football 'the right way' is more important than winning trophies - except when you scrape a Milk Cup final win with a team of Wimbledon cast-offs, led by the dour former manager of your hated local rivals?
5. Are you charmed by a club so desperate to appear successful that it lists the Peace Cup, a pre-season tournament run by Moonies, among its official honours?
6. Do you like the idea of a club with a tradition of stylish football - even if it's based on a throw-away quote and a one-off season, 46 years ago, since which point they've been in a period of transition and rebuilding?
7. Similarly, could you fall in love with a club whose self-proclaimed tradition of free-flowing, stylish football has bequeathed to the world such celebrated names from the pantheon of all-time creative geniuses as Tim Sherwood, Steffen Freund, Stuart Nethercott and Justin Edinburgh?
8. Do you live next door to someone who's far more successful, attractive and popular than you, so that you wake up each morning consumed with bile?
9. Are you hoping for a life of constant fear, knowing that, even if you're 3-0 up with 20 minutes to go and the opposition down to nine men, you'll still be biting your nails because one goal conceded invariably means you'll lose 5-3?
10. Or how about a life based on laughable superstition, such as one that insists, despite ever mounting evidence to the contrary, that your new team always wins a trophy if the year ends in a one?

Hello...The Phone-In Phrases"Hi Alan, essentially I'm ringing to say whatever happened to the good old glory-glory style of the Spurs of old, eh? That up-and-at-'em spirit that swept all before it - I mean I know I wasn't alive to see it, after all I'm only 45, but I'm told by many of my fellow fans that we were really quite something and I jolly well think it's time we got back to that principle. I mean who cares if we lose, I'd rather watch a good game, wouldn't you, after all we're all at the heart of things basically football fans, that is, fans of football..."

"Look Jol's got it all wrong. AGAIN. We need more arty-farty, lightweight types who drift in and out of games and disappear entirely if anyone barges them about a bit. We don't want any of these tough-tackling, workmanlike midfielders because TACKLING'S NOT THE SPURS WAY, right?"

"Hello? I just wanted to say that I think basically this season we miss Carrick. Oh, and Hoddle and Pat Jennings and Danny Blanchflower. And we miss only having to play 15 matches all year. But we were still ROBBED last year, right? It was a conspiracy! We should be in the Champions LEAGUE! We were POISONED by those BASTARDS at the FA who want David Dein and his MATES at Arsenal to...Hello? You still there?"

Get The AccentJust think your way into the head of a Catherine Tate teenager - or one of the Beales out of Eastenders.

You Are The Pundit"Well it was a simple ball really wasn't it Gary, along the ground, right up the middle of the pitch and the Spurs midfield and defence just stood and watched and then Robinson hit the deck like a faulty Weeble and there it was, 4-3, what a comeback, but I mean you have to wonder whether they really care, these Spurs players."

Club HistoryTottenham Hostpur Football Club was formed by renegade artists and poets and philosophers, who thought that their former institutions lacked artistic and creative purity. It was named after Sir Harry Blanchflower Hotspur, a minor character in Shakespeare's Dixon of Dock Green.

How To Fit In With A Single Sentence"Look, if you ask me Jol's just got to go, 'e's taken the team as far as 'e can and 'e's tactically naïve...hang on, have we scored... I've changed my mind, alright - the guy's a genius man - oh WHAT whass 'appened now...oh, you are KIDDING me right JOL has GOT TO GO."

Shit shit shit

New Hammers star ruled out for six months

West Ham United have been rocked by the news that £6.1million signing Julien Faubert will be out of action for six months after rupturing his Achilles tendon.
The 23-year-old French midfielder suffered the injury during Tuesday night's pre-season match against Sigma Olomouc and has flown to Strasbourg to undergo surgery.

Sounds like the Irons have gotten off to the kind of start they did last year with Dean Ashton writing himself off.

Golden Boot Decided

With the somewhat premature end to the season the final results have come in for this seasons golden boot award. This coverted trophy has a long tradition hailing back to the glory days in year 12 of Dynamo Spurs United when cherry picking was a well respected profession. The trophy has essentially been dominated by two players Rod and Desmond. But with one being missing (presumed dead) for most of the season and the other struggling to adapt to the dual responsibility of captain/striker a first time winner of the trophy has been announced.

And the Golden Boot for 2007 Winter Season is:

Chook 25 (3 pen)
Ads 23 (5 freekicks)
Desmond 18 (3 pen)
Jords 14 ( 1 clean sheet)
Tuma 7 (1 pen)
Freestyler 4

Congratulations to Chook (who bares on uncanny resemblance to Mark Noble) on a brilliant season where a 7 goal haul in the penultimate game was enough to see him over the line. Although it must be noted for the record that if you were to exclude all the scummy penalties that Chook and Desmond took then Ads would be a clear winner of the trophy.

See you losers next season.