Former GSE Captain Ads tells England: "You're Shit and You Know You Are"

Wow, Just Like Lord Of The Rings
Imagine Lord of the Rings with all the heroes acting and performing like our England team.

It would be f*cking chaos.

Aragorn would be a complete pussy. He'd talk a fair game but would be a crap hero. He'd panic and fall off the bridge on the way out to meet the Orcs and splutter around in the ditch until it was too late. The elf and that dwarf thing would attack each other or cower in different parts of the castle/battlefield.

The villagers would NOT join in but turn on their leaders and make them feel even worse, bitching about their lack of heroism without giving them the one thing they need: support.

Boromir would sulk if the local rags dissed his performance, and get on his high horse if they praised him.

Gandalf the Grey, sorry White, sorry no Blue, or actually no Green, would have no clue what was going on. The plans would be a mess, no one would know who was doing what, where or why, and the trilogy would have been over before it was even a bilogy.

The point is, our culture seems to have forgotten what values are. We talk about heroism and courage but we don't really know what it means any more. Balls. Commitment. Doing things you don't want to do. Doing things you're afraid to do. Supporting a lost cause. Acting without fear. All very alien to us, except in movies and fantasy tales.

Instead we know the values of money, fame, and good looks. The Sun is our cultural beacon. Which is why a country with nothing to play for can win away from home, and our flailing 'heroes' can't even muster up a concerted effort.

Perhaps our talent pool and our league will continue to give us places in most international competitions, but I'd rather be a Scotland fan any day. At least I'd have some values to shout for.

I'd like to say we could learn from this, but I doubt it. Shame. We coulda been contenders.