I posted this today
Mr Buckley,
I am writing in regards to the managerial vacuum that exists for the Australian National Team post the Asian Cup 2007. I would be extremely grateful if you would consider my CV in your search for a new manager. I feel that this position is ideal for me given my experience and technical expertise.
I have always placed a strong emphasis on the technical and tactical aspects of managing a football team. The tactical side of football has always been very important for me and this is clearly demonstrated through my outstanding record in the Football Manager 2005 computer game. I have managed clubs such as Livorno, AS Roma, West Ham United, Racing Santander and FC St Pauli. With all of these clubs I have demonstrated an ability to transcend cultural and language barriers which I think is an essential asset when considering the ethnically diverse nature of the Socceroos. In particular I would like to highlight my achievements at Livorno where I led a team which was on the brink of relegation to European qualification. Also, having led FC St Pauli from the third tier of German football to the Bundesliga shows that I have talent on bringing out the best in squads which may be at times lacking in talent. My Football Manager experience has further allowed me to become an expert in the nuances of man management and consultation with the media and press.
As you can see from my attached CV, I’ve taken the opportunity to gain extra qualifications away from football including gaining a Batchelor Degree in Commerce from the illustrious Melbourne University. I believe that this degree has provided me with many transferable skills for managing the Australian national team (I could fill in Mark Viduka’s tax returns).
Away from Football Manager 2005 I also have extensive hands on managerial experience with the Tullamarine Action Indoor Soccer team “The Green Street Elite”. Under my guidance as captain/coach the team went to two consecutive divisional grand finals only to have been defeated in both games by poor referring inspired by the oppositional forces of the Action Indoor oligarchy.
Relocation to Sydney to fulfil this position would not be a problem as I have been there on a number of occasions and would have no problem in moving there. I was last there for the friendly between Australia and Uruguay and found the town quite entertaining.
One of the key benefits in appointing me over Dirk Advocat or Gerrard Houllier is that my salary expectations would be much lower. I would be willing to start work on a $80,000 per year salary which consider to be more than reasonable for a manager of my extensive experience.
Due to my Polish heritage I also have the option of gaining foreign citizenship. I believe that this could be extremely advantageous with the trend of appointing foreign managers to head national teams is very much in vogue.
I am available for interview at your convenience and look forward to hearing from you – my contact details can be found on my CV.
Yours Sincerely
Ads
P.S Chook and Desmond you've got dibs on assitant manager positions
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Carling Cup
Bristol R 1-2 West Ham: Bellamy bags brace
Highlights:
-Dean Ashton was meant to start but his girlfriend went into labour. Bitch
-Kieron Dyer (West Ham's best player so far this season next to Mark Noble) has a double fracture to his leg.
-A brace from Craig Bellamy.
At least we made it through the first round unlike last year. But losing Kieron Dyer is massive.
Rumours are already abound that Curbs had contacted Chook last night in a frenzied attempt to sign the GSE midfielder before the close of the European transfer window on the 31st of August.
Plus: David Carney made a start for Sheffield Utd against MKD in their 3-2 victory.
Highlights:
-Dean Ashton was meant to start but his girlfriend went into labour. Bitch
-Kieron Dyer (West Ham's best player so far this season next to Mark Noble) has a double fracture to his leg.
-A brace from Craig Bellamy.
At least we made it through the first round unlike last year. But losing Kieron Dyer is massive.
Rumours are already abound that Curbs had contacted Chook last night in a frenzied attempt to sign the GSE midfielder before the close of the European transfer window on the 31st of August.
Plus: David Carney made a start for Sheffield Utd against MKD in their 3-2 victory.
Back from Geelong
I'm back from my drug rehabilitation stay in Geelong and ready to get the GSE moving again.
First out of the blocks is news that I thought only comes to me in those dodgy emails that Chook sends me with transfer rumors. But according to soccertw*t:
West Ham have entered into talks with Inter Milan over the possibility of signing Brazil striker Adriano.
The 25-year-old has fallen down the pecking order at the San Siro after a loss of form in the last 12 months and his club are keen for him to gain some first-team experience.
The Brazilian has been linked with Manchester City but it appears the Hammers have been more proactive in an attempt to bring the player to the Premier League.
'West Ham can confirm we are holding talks with Inter Milan over striker Adriano,'' said a statement on the club's website.
First out of the blocks is news that I thought only comes to me in those dodgy emails that Chook sends me with transfer rumors. But according to soccertw*t:
West Ham have entered into talks with Inter Milan over the possibility of signing Brazil striker Adriano.
The 25-year-old has fallen down the pecking order at the San Siro after a loss of form in the last 12 months and his club are keen for him to gain some first-team experience.
The Brazilian has been linked with Manchester City but it appears the Hammers have been more proactive in an attempt to bring the player to the Premier League.
'West Ham can confirm we are holding talks with Inter Milan over striker Adriano,'' said a statement on the club's website.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Advocaat To Coach Australia
According to reports in Australia, Dick Advocaat has agreed to become the next coach of the national team though the move will not be formally announced until later this year.
Advocaat will succeed Graham Arnold who will lead the Socceroos during friendlies with Argentina and China in September and October respectively. It is not yet known if Advocaat will appoint his own assistant or use Arnold as his number two.
Football Federation Australia (FFA) officially decided to appoint an overseas coach after Australia left the Asian Cup at the quarter-final stage last month.
Advocaat was at the helm of the Netherlands’ 1994 World Cup campaign and was South Korea’s coach at 2006.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
West Ham Bomb Out, Victory Likewise and a High School Revelation
West Ham, the father team of the mighty GSE bombed out losing 2-0 to Man City in the opening round of Premier League Fixtures.
The MVFC similarly imploded, winning the wooden spoon of the pre-season A-League competition following a defeat to the Scum FC.
Former schoolmate of GSE players, who shall only be referred to as the poisoned dwarf, has been revealed as a MASSIVE West Ham fan, on social networking site, Facebook. See Below.
The MVFC similarly imploded, winning the wooden spoon of the pre-season A-League competition following a defeat to the Scum FC.
Former schoolmate of GSE players, who shall only be referred to as the poisoned dwarf, has been revealed as a MASSIVE West Ham fan, on social networking site, Facebook. See Below.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Piss
Taking the Piss!
When Fat Frank Lampard pisses, it takes a deflection and goes in
Henry tries to get Pires to do it for him, they both f*ck it up and end
up pissing on eachother's shoes. But Henry doesn't just get his own
piss in more than anyone else, he also helps others with theirs a lot
for a striker
Ruud actually lowers his c*ck inside the bowl first - no chance of
missing then
Christiano Ronaldo spins his c*ck around in a windmill motion before
spraying his urine all over the bathroom scales
Scholes' is a curious shade of orange.
Ronaldinho has got zig-zag piss
And maradona has his go up on his knee, his left shoulder, head, right
shoulder, right knee and dinks it in the bowl
Thomas Hitzlsperger stands in his front garden whilst he has a piss, in
the toilet upstairs
Casillas just loves golden showers!
David Beckham does a cool curly one, but it's the only type he can do.
Essien breaks his toilet everytime he goes.
Shevchenko goes for pisses so frequently, especially in Europe.
Mido's piss is explosive when it hits the water.
Diego Forlan can only have a piss when he's in warmer weather.
Shearer gets a bit of pee on his hand then after he's finished runs
over to the sink with his hand in the air to wash it.
Wenger misses every time 'cos he claims he didn't see the toilet.
Rooney only likes pissing in English toilets.
N'gotty goes in the ladies toilets.
Peter Crouch can hold it in for weeks and then pisses 10 pints in one
visit to the loo.
Frank Sinclair always pisses in the wrong toilet
Diouf pisses out of his mouth
Matt le tissier only used to go for a piss when he felt like it...
Keano screams at his penis to get it's act together.
Joe Cole can't do it without sweatbands on. Then, when he's done, he
falls over
John O Shea pisses bent over.
Kanu sometimes takes a piss with his c*ck wrapped around the back of
his leg
Woodgate pisses into his own face
Dietmar Hamann takes an acoustic piss. Patrick Vieira is standing at
the next urinal and falls over.
Alex ferguson pissed right in Beckham's face.
Henry keeps pissing on the seat of late.
Darren Fletcher pisses over his own feet, up the wall, all down his
legs and on anybody nearby. Sometimes he wishes Fergie would stop
making him go and piss.
Zidane does a 360 degree piss around the toilet before cooly slotting
it home.
Ronaldo steps over his piss, then over it again and again and again...
Eric Cantona does a sublime piss and then pirouttes around to face
everyone as if to say "Did you see that? I did that. That was a God like piss."
Bramble And Boumsong piss together on the seat and Shay Given deflects
it into the bowl with his mouth
Does Gerrard tell his toilet he's leaving before he's finished his piss
and then change his mind at the last second before the resulting
accident involving trousers, shoes, piss and swear-words?
Emile Heskey falls over before even reaching the urinal.
Darren Huckerby charges blindly towards the toilet door with his head
down not noticing that it's closed.
Lua Lua likes to celebrate in his usual way after finishing his piss
but tries to forget the day when he celebrated prematurely...
Andy Johnson stands 12-yards away on a spot on the floor and only
pisses from there.
Michael Owen has to piss upwards in order to hit the bowl.
Cygan gifts lots of piss to anyone who comes asking
Milan Baros sprints out the living room shimmys past the study bolts up
the stairs pirouettes round the dog hops over a chair rolls into the
bathroom then after all that hardwork misses the toilet and pisses out the window.
Cisse just races off towards the urinal, and when he's in range, he shoots.
Occasionally it goes in, but more often then not it hits everything
else and misses.
When Carragher takes a piss no-one can understand the sound
Peter Crouch has good piss for a big man.
Drogba is piss
Sol Campbell only does half a piss then goes home
When Fat Frank Lampard pisses, it takes a deflection and goes in
Henry tries to get Pires to do it for him, they both f*ck it up and end
up pissing on eachother's shoes. But Henry doesn't just get his own
piss in more than anyone else, he also helps others with theirs a lot
for a striker
Ruud actually lowers his c*ck inside the bowl first - no chance of
missing then
Christiano Ronaldo spins his c*ck around in a windmill motion before
spraying his urine all over the bathroom scales
Scholes' is a curious shade of orange.
Ronaldinho has got zig-zag piss
And maradona has his go up on his knee, his left shoulder, head, right
shoulder, right knee and dinks it in the bowl
Thomas Hitzlsperger stands in his front garden whilst he has a piss, in
the toilet upstairs
Casillas just loves golden showers!
David Beckham does a cool curly one, but it's the only type he can do.
Essien breaks his toilet everytime he goes.
Shevchenko goes for pisses so frequently, especially in Europe.
Mido's piss is explosive when it hits the water.
Diego Forlan can only have a piss when he's in warmer weather.
Shearer gets a bit of pee on his hand then after he's finished runs
over to the sink with his hand in the air to wash it.
Wenger misses every time 'cos he claims he didn't see the toilet.
Rooney only likes pissing in English toilets.
N'gotty goes in the ladies toilets.
Peter Crouch can hold it in for weeks and then pisses 10 pints in one
visit to the loo.
Frank Sinclair always pisses in the wrong toilet
Diouf pisses out of his mouth
Matt le tissier only used to go for a piss when he felt like it...
Keano screams at his penis to get it's act together.
Joe Cole can't do it without sweatbands on. Then, when he's done, he
falls over
John O Shea pisses bent over.
Kanu sometimes takes a piss with his c*ck wrapped around the back of
his leg
Woodgate pisses into his own face
Dietmar Hamann takes an acoustic piss. Patrick Vieira is standing at
the next urinal and falls over.
Alex ferguson pissed right in Beckham's face.
Henry keeps pissing on the seat of late.
Darren Fletcher pisses over his own feet, up the wall, all down his
legs and on anybody nearby. Sometimes he wishes Fergie would stop
making him go and piss.
Zidane does a 360 degree piss around the toilet before cooly slotting
it home.
Ronaldo steps over his piss, then over it again and again and again...
Eric Cantona does a sublime piss and then pirouttes around to face
everyone as if to say "Did you see that? I did that. That was a God like piss."
Bramble And Boumsong piss together on the seat and Shay Given deflects
it into the bowl with his mouth
Does Gerrard tell his toilet he's leaving before he's finished his piss
and then change his mind at the last second before the resulting
accident involving trousers, shoes, piss and swear-words?
Emile Heskey falls over before even reaching the urinal.
Darren Huckerby charges blindly towards the toilet door with his head
down not noticing that it's closed.
Lua Lua likes to celebrate in his usual way after finishing his piss
but tries to forget the day when he celebrated prematurely...
Andy Johnson stands 12-yards away on a spot on the floor and only
pisses from there.
Michael Owen has to piss upwards in order to hit the bowl.
Cygan gifts lots of piss to anyone who comes asking
Milan Baros sprints out the living room shimmys past the study bolts up
the stairs pirouettes round the dog hops over a chair rolls into the
bathroom then after all that hardwork misses the toilet and pisses out the window.
Cisse just races off towards the urinal, and when he's in range, he shoots.
Occasionally it goes in, but more often then not it hits everything
else and misses.
When Carragher takes a piss no-one can understand the sound
Peter Crouch has good piss for a big man.
Drogba is piss
Sol Campbell only does half a piss then goes home
Monday, August 6, 2007
Victory Deny Ljubo Walkout...
EXCLUSIVE: Melbourne Victory have hit back at overnight rumours claiming that Ljubo Milicevic had walked out on the club.A-League internet forums ran hot with gossip surrounding Ljubo Milicevic with claims that the star defender had left the club following a run-in with Ernie Merrick.
Some forum threads had suggested Milicevic had already left the country and that a press conference had been scheduled for mid-morning to announce the shock departure.
Melbourne Victory suffered a disappointing 2-1 loss to Wellington Phoenix on the weekend and the match saw Milicevic pick up his third yellow card for the tournament, effectively ruling him out of taking part in further pre-season matches.
Victory spokesman Tony Ising assured Ljubo Milicevic was still in the country and said that the rumours that are circulating are “unfounded” and “something we categorically deny”.
“Ljubo is sitting about ten metres away from me in our office, so he’s not in Europe. I don’t know where they’ve [rumours] have come from but I’m waiting for someone to fill me in,” he said.
“If there’s a press conference the media manager doesn’t know about it.
“Our CEO is unaware of any of these rumours and there is certainly no basis for them. At this stage there is certainly no media conference.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Interesting things to note here:
1. If Ljubo was 10 metres away in the office, why not get him out to deny the rumours?
2. Why is the fat carnt in Tony Isings office, and not at training?
3. "At this stage there is certainly no media conference.” - 'at this stage', eh?
We'll see. Until then, please accept this amended Ljubo photo...
Week 1: Match Report
GSE v Spain
GSE started their new season off with a comfortable win over a Spanish side which included international stars such as Gaucci and Super Tosser (guy who rocked up with the head band thing). The 10-8 scoreline flattered the losers with GSE taking the foot off the acelerator in the second half allowing a minor revival by the team from the Iberian peninsular.
In a relatively dour encounter the game highlights were limited to a thunderous volley from Attila the Hun which almost ripped the net off of the frame (hmm...the Hun. Is anyone else thinking about porn now?). And a wonderfully taken freekick by Chook which set up Joey for an easy tap in. Chook was also responsible for a couple of Maldini moments when he continued to act like a man whore and refused to close his legs when he was goalkeeping. Dave Lovelock was present to cheer the GSE on and if he still had a segment on the World Game he assured us that Chook's calamity James like goalkeeping would have been a feature.
Goal scorers were:
Desmond 3 (1 penalty)
Joey 3
Attila the Hun 2
Chook 1
Ads 1
Ljubo Milicevic to walk out on Victory...
This means "NOT WELCOME"
As usual, GSE: Indoor Revolution has it first with the exclusive stories in world football.
A member of the inner circle of the GSE has learnt of Milicevic's stunning exit from the club he signed with only a matter of weeks ago. The big signing for the Melbourne Victory in the off season, his exit leaves the Victory with big defensive problems following the exit of Adrian Leijer to Fulham last week. With season's kickoff a matter of weeks away it reamins to be seen whether the Victory will be able to sign a replacement in time.
Press Conference tomorrow (Tuesday August 7) 11am to confirm the news.
Petulant fuck.
Ljubo's a cunt.
Dead man walking. GSE will not show mercy to those disloyal to the Blue and White.
2.07am.
A member of the inner circle of the GSE has learnt of Milicevic's stunning exit from the club he signed with only a matter of weeks ago. The big signing for the Melbourne Victory in the off season, his exit leaves the Victory with big defensive problems following the exit of Adrian Leijer to Fulham last week. With season's kickoff a matter of weeks away it reamins to be seen whether the Victory will be able to sign a replacement in time.
Press Conference tomorrow (Tuesday August 7) 11am to confirm the news.
Petulant fuck.
Ljubo's a cunt.
Dead man walking. GSE will not show mercy to those disloyal to the Blue and White.
2.07am.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Saturday, August 4, 2007
And so it begins...again
We are about 5 hours away from the start of GSE's new indoor season.
I can't wait.
I think I should take a nap.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Ins & Outs
*Juninho is set to arrive in Australia today so that he can Sydney FC. Just remember this is the shit Juninho who played for Middlesborough not the good one who plays for Lyon. I wonder how he will cope with Branko Culina's unique style of management (focus on technical and tactical and an incredible squeaky voice).
*Fulham are closing in on a three-year deal for Melbourne Victory defender Adrian Leijer, according to the Australian club.
"We received an offer from Fulham on Monday morning and the negotiations are progressing quite well," said Victory's football operations manager Gary Cole.
*Some 9 year old kid from Brisbane got signed by Manchester United on the basis of a video his grandfather sent to the club. I reckon we get me playing against some 9 year olds and i'll rip them a new ass hole, tape it and the send it to WHU.
* Nerds FC get hammered with a terrible win loss record. I call for the head of shit ass coach Craig Foster. He has abondoned the technique, formation and style that Guus Hiddink introduced. He is single handedly stopping Nerds FC from fulfilling their potential. Fuck. Sack him now.
*Fulham are closing in on a three-year deal for Melbourne Victory defender Adrian Leijer, according to the Australian club.
"We received an offer from Fulham on Monday morning and the negotiations are progressing quite well," said Victory's football operations manager Gary Cole.
*Some 9 year old kid from Brisbane got signed by Manchester United on the basis of a video his grandfather sent to the club. I reckon we get me playing against some 9 year olds and i'll rip them a new ass hole, tape it and the send it to WHU.
* Nerds FC get hammered with a terrible win loss record. I call for the head of shit ass coach Craig Foster. He has abondoned the technique, formation and style that Guus Hiddink introduced. He is single handedly stopping Nerds FC from fulfilling their potential. Fuck. Sack him now.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Fight Club 2
Below is the soccertwat article on Dyer. It is going to be on Bowyer vs Dyer featuring Bellamy.
Newcastle United midfielder Kieron Dyer has been given permission to speak to West Ham United after the two clubs agreed an undisclosed fee for the 28-year-old.
Magpies manager Sam Allardyce had earlier insisted a £4million bid for the England international was well below Newcastle's valuation. The Hammers have returned with an improved offer, nearer the £6m mark.
Magpies manager Sam Allardyce had earlier insisted a £4million bid for the England international was well below Newcastle's valuation. The Hammers have returned with an improved offer, nearer the £6m mark.
The player is understood to be keen to move south to be closer to his family.
Allardyce said: 'We've agreed a deal so you'd have thought that he will finish up where he needs to finish up to solve his family problems.
'From our point of view and from his point of view it's a satisfactory result. There was a need to do it as quickly as we possibly could and we've worked all out to do that and we've finally resolved the situation.'
Although Dyer has not officially left St James' Park, Allardyce has already turned his attention to replacing the versatile 28-year-old.
He said: 'My job now is to replace him, which shouldn't take too long I don't think, and then move on to other players in other positions as quickly as I can or at the same time.
'I think we'll be close by the end of the week to maybe one or two players, I would hope.
'Then after that I would look to get at least another two or maybe three in because if Kieron goes, whoever comes in to replace him, that's only one for one, so it's not actually improving the squad in terms of strength in depth.
'There's still three or four players need to be got on top of whoever we replace Kieron with.' and it is now up to Dyer to thrash out personal terms.
Reports in Wednesday's media claimed Dyer has been subjected to abuse from some Magpies fans since it became clear he was hoping to leave.
Chairman Chris Mort has expressed his concern at the effect that could have on attempts to overhaul the squad.
Dyer was booed during the weekend's friendly win over Juventus and it has been alleged that his house has been targeted by an egg-throwing mob.
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