Match Report - GSE vs Ammoss

And so it was, GSE's day of reckoning. A date with destiny. A match for the ages. With the season on the line, GSE journeyed to the GABBA for a meeting with the fearsome "Ammoss", the top team in the division.

With captain Desmond under pressure to turn around a run of calamitous results or face the bullet mid season (for the second time in his indoor career), there was a lot at stake both on and off the field. Fleshlight ® ™ © have been reviewing sponsorship after a bad correlation in sales and the success of GSE on the field. In this time of crisis, Desmond convinced former GSE captain, hip-hop legend and Egyptian superstar, Jords, to pull on the GSE jersey again for a short term winter loan contract. F.A.G.S Utd of Geelong were reluctant to part with the superstar, but when offered the 10% KFC discount, plus RJ's every Tuesday for F.A.G.S Utd players free of charge from Chook, the deal was done.

The team was hit with bad news the day of the match with the withdrawal of Freestyler with an ankle injury after a robust challenge in an intra-club match for his outfoor team Metrosexuals FC. Doctors described the injury as "cankle like", where there was no discernable difference between the calf ending and the ankle beginning. Freestyler's contribution to the team this season has been mixed - of late his attempt to remodel himself as a defensive midfielder type have rendered only 1 goal in his past 3 appearances, and a decrease in number of stepover/hurdles fans can expect to see in a GSE game. His willingness to fill in as keeper on a rotational basis has seen some incredible saves (including with the face) but also some below par efforts with the gloves (club doctors have put this down to gross fatigue).

The stage was set for one of GSE's favourite sons to return to the fold. Teuma, the youngster currently enrolled in the Gambin/Samanna school of technical players, has been honing his skills on the drought ravaged pitches of SBC champing at the bit for a senior return. Some will remember his heroics in the great victory vs Cold as Ice, a game that has gone down in history as GSE's finest win.

Mindful of a recent record of only 8 points in 5 matches, and facing a team who not only defeated them 7-3 last time, but had amassed 29 points in a similar period, GSE went into the game as underdogs. Ammoss, a team 12 points clear at the top of the table, and a massive 30 points clear of GSE, packed a menacing sight, more so with the revelation of a new signing from Turkish superclub Galatasaray between the sticks.

With Crystal meth user and Ben Cousins look-alike Chook under a drug induced haze, Teuma was forced to start the match alongside regular First IV Ads and Desmond. GSE started the game brightly, creating several chances before Teuma opened the scoring in his return match. GSE soon raced to a 4-0 lead with Desmond adding a couple of goals before substituting himself after receiving a knock in a 50-50 challenge. The half ended at 5 or 6-0, a scoreboard error and an inexperienced ref adding to some confusion for your intrepid reporter. Ammoss were in disarray, either through arrogance or the lack of their one true marquee player, they truly were "a mess" (boom-tish) and were playing like Marquee FC, a team essentially comprised of GSE rejects, including the Hated One. Ammoss took the unorthodox step of bringing their star signing, Galatasaray's number 3 back-up youth keeper onto the field to play as a striker (evidently hoping for some Chilavert-like wizardry) after half time.

So began a second half where the vision pioneered by Ads many seasons ago (Total Quality Management) came to fruition on the pitch. Chook and Ads began to dominate the match, some crisp interplay and passing, with usual goal-scorer Desmond turning goal-provider for several goals. Teuma's hard running and phsyicality began to raise the ire of several Ammoss players, who began to target the youngster with some dirty tackles. After several scuffles and cheap frees it was left to Ads to restore order with a crunching tackle and Roy Keane/Chook like stare after stamping his authority. The only blemish on what was turing into a sparkling display was a brief period where, upon hearing fans referring to the Golden Boot tally, players turned selfish infront of goal, resulting in several certain goals turning into missed opportunities.

After stern words from keeper Jordan to "forget your fucking golden shoe", GSE began to play as a team again. The highlight was when Desmond, after a sarcastic roll out by the opposition keeper straight to his feet, taunting him to put it past him for a cheap goal, resisted the dollar signs in the back of the net and the glory of the golden boot trophy, calmly passed it back to the opposition keeper. Jords, who was on track for only his second clean sheet as indoor keeper, and hard hardly been forced into a real save, was put under pressure by some crazy defending by Ads. A relatively tame shot was almost turned into an own goal not seen since the "Freestyler free kick debacle" of late 2006. Ads, attempting to control a long range shot by Chilavert, succeeded only in deflecting the ball low and towards the bottom right corner of Jords' goal. Fortunately his cat-like reflexes had not adandoned him during his time at F.A.G.S Utd, and Jords made a spectacular, if not relatively easy save. After converting a penalty, to his customary left of the keeper, Desmond was substituted off, prompting a reshuffle. Ads moved into goals, charged with maintaining the clean sheet, and Jords moved forward in search goals. He found one almost immediately, unleashing a fearsome right foot strike to the keepers' left. With a final penalty conversion by Chook to make it 17-0, the ref blew for full time, prompting a relieved sigh from the Ammoss keeper of, "thank god, finally..". With the clean sheet intact, prodigal son Jords was awarded MVP.

GSE are back it seems, in a major way. So surprised at the ease of their victory, questions were raised as to whether the opposition were in fact the top team. After consultation with League Administrators at Action Indoor Tullamarine, it has been revealed it was indeed Ammoss who took the field that day, copping a 17-0 hiding. With Jords' loan stint fast drawing to a close, and the probable loss of Teuma with him, will replacement keeper Russell, plucked by scouts from the obscure Bunnings League, be able to fill the hole? Will Freestyler's time at Metrosexuals FC hinder his performance for GSE? One thing seems certain if GSE can keep up this run of form - finals football, and a chance to break a hoodoo of 3 grand final losses. And what of the speculation surrounding Desmond's leadership? surely gone now.



Stats:



Starting IV:

Goals
Jords 1
Ads 5
Teuma 3
Desmond (c) 4*

Bench:
Chook 4*
TOTAL: 17

*includes 1 penalty each.

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Golden Boot:

Jords - 11*
Ads - 11 (5 freekicks)
Desmond - 10 (2 pens)
Chook - 10 (1 pen)
Teuma - 3
Freestyler - 1

*includes bonus 10 goals for clean sheet.

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Ladder:
P W L D Pts
Ammoss 10 7 2 1 65
Gullentry 9 4 3 1 53
Wrong Bet 9 3 3 3 52
M.E.A.T 9 5 2 1 51
Green Street Elite 10 4 5 0 43
Pain Train *******unknown*******